Getting Ready for the Big Change

At my middle school, we used to have a ‘theme of the year,’ and when I was in Grade 8, it was “Change is the only constant.” It’s sounded so unnecessary to us back then; so philosophical. But in the past 4 years, my belief in that mantra has grown exponentially. My grades changed astronomically. My friendships and relationships changed. My country of residence changed. And in all of this, I truly found solace in knowing that things will change and that means my bad will change into good.

Now, coming closer and closer to the finish line of high school, I see a big change waiting for me: post-secondary. I received my OUAC pin last week and have, since, been anxious to submit my application but also hesitant, not knowing if all my choices are my best options. Mind you, I have been researching my options since grade 7. I have spent so long looking at universities’ programs, extracurriculars, research opportunities etc. But here I am, a month away from the deadline, doubting my own decisions.

Maybe it’s because of stress from other aspects of my life; maybe it’s knowing there could be something better for me; or maybe it’s just not wanting to change from this cocoon I’ve created around myself, protecting me from the harsh realities of the world; the cocoon in which my friends always remain my friends, my teachers are always gentle and kind, and my grades are always above average. This cocoon has kept me happy, so why should I leave it?

The answers I get from all the adults around me are “it’s because that how life works” and “you have to move on and become an adult” and “growing up is a part of life”. Their answers are vague, but their determination isn’t. The adults around me seem to know what their purpose in life is. My parents, from my perspective, have a purpose to raise their daughter to be a good human being. My teachers find it to be their purpose to make sure I’m educated enough to become a functioning adult. And all the other adults have a purpose to make this world a better place for me.

I’m still not entirely fond of the idea of leaving this part of my life behind, but their determination inspires me to embrace the coming change. I want to become someone who makes the world a better place for others. I want to help people become functioning adults. I want to make someone a good human being. And this big change will get me there.

Fear and anxiety will still find me, but I’ll be equipped with my own determination to fight them off. I hope you find it in you to fight them off too. Thank you for reading my very honest and frank post. This marks the start of some very university-oriented posts. I hope you read those too. Due to a large amount of content, I may post more than once a week, to prevent the posts from being too long and boring.

Stay tuned for some content I have been waiting to post for so long. I hope you gain some clarity on life with my posts. -Aarushi.