Things I Wish I Knew: Importance of Gratitude

Before my last post, I made a list of things I wish I knew before starting high school, things I would tell my younger self if I had the chance. High school has been such a wonderful learning experience for me, and not just academically. The list had things like ‘I wish I knew the importance of a good work ethic,’ ‘I wish I knew the importance of physical activity,’ ‘I wish I knew how to deal with boys (I still don’t)’ etc. I know I have a good work ethic now and I’ve learnt why physical activity is good for me but if I had known this in 9th grade, a lot of things would be different. So, today, I want to talk about how I wish I knew the importance of gratitude before starting high school.

My life up until Grade 9 was smooth sailing. The worst problem I had had to face was trying to convince my Grade 5 teacher I wasn’t “hogging” my classmate’s time. Like, seriously, some people in my class thought I was hogging a friend and they weren’t getting a chance to play with her. But that’s a story for a different day. Besides that, I had everything I wanted: a loving family and good grades.

But in Grade 9, one of those changed. The school I attended Grade 9 and 10 at had 2 classes, out of 10 or 11, dedicated to students who were exceptionally intelligent. The criteria to be in the class was to score an average of 92% or higher, I believe. In Grade 8, I did really well in all subjects, so I was moved from 8-F to 9-B, the ability section for students taking French. The other class was for students taking Hindi. I started out really happy that my intelligence was being acknowledged. But that soon went downhill.

I won’t bore you with the details of why Grade 9 was hell for me but there were 2 things that greatly affected who I was. First, my Math teacher. Second, my group of friends. In a gist, my Math teacher refused to make a little more effort to help me navigate through the concepts I had a hard time understanding and my friends started to pull away from me for a number of reasons, some of which I don’t try understanding anymore.

But I was also at fault here. I had taken everything up till then for granted. I knew I was good at Math, so I thought I’d be fine in the smarter class, putting the same amount of effort as I had in the regular class. And I thought my friends would stay by my side, regardless of what I said or did. I wasn’t grateful for everything I had. I didn’t show any gratitude for the fact that my room was big enough to fit my study space as well as two bookshelves for all the books that made me smart. I wasn’t grateful for the fact that my school had air conditioning and smart boards in every class to make us comfortable while studying. I wasn’t grateful for a group of amazing friends, who would laugh at the lamest of my jokes. It’s not like I didn’t say my thank yous or didn’t reciprocate their love. I just didn’t acknowledge the fact that they could decide to leave. Which most of them did.

It was only in Grade 10, after I was moved to a regular class and had lost most of my friends, that I realized the power of showing gratitude. And not only for the things that I already had, but also the things I wanted. Telling the higher power that I was grateful for something always brought that thing closer to me, whether I already had it or not. It’s kind of hard to explain, but for example, I started being grateful for an amazing Math teacher. I ended up having the same Math teacher as Grade 9, but I realized I could teach myself what I didn’t understand in class, and I became my own amazing Math teacher. I said I was grateful for my friends and I made a few new friends that I’m still very close to. I began showing my gratitude for everything in my life and looking for the good side of everything and that really changed my life for the better.

Of course, I wouldn’t change anything now because a lot of what happened in Grade 9 helped me become who I am today, but if I got the chance to tell my 13-year-old self that there is a way to make all of it better, I would tell her to show more gratitude for the things she has.

One trick that really helped me was something my mom told me to do. I’m not sure what she calls it but, in a situation where you’re feeling angry or disappointed or pissed, look around you and begin appreciating things until you feel your mood change. This works great if you’re talking to someone and they won’t stop complaining or cribbing. You keep your vibe high and happy by staying positive. And your appreciation can be about absolutely anything. It can be about how pretty the lights look, reflecting off a surface. Or it can be about how well your outfit fits you today. Anything and everything has a side that can be appreciated. Even now, we can appreciate COVID-19 for reducing air pollution, and maybe giving us a little more time to save the environment.

Thank you so much for reading this post. I truly hope that you integrate habits of being grateful into your life because it can be life-changing. Tell me in the comments if gratitude has helped you. -Aarushi